This is the twenty-second in a series of articles where I take a look at key words and phrases that play an important role in the work I do, helping people discover ways to live and love like they mean it.

You can view the entire series here.

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Positive Visualization is a process in which we visualize (think about, imagine and try to see in our mind’s eye) someone or something that evokes a positive feeling.

Practicing positive visualization activates the same neural pathways in the brain that are engaged when you take actions for real.

Research by psychologist Barbara Frederickson at the University of Michigan shows that simply experiencing positive emotions—such as mild joy or contentment—can decrease the physiological effects of negative emotion.

For example, the rapid heartbeat we experience when we’re fearful can be slowed down by picturing something that evokes positive feelings.

But we don’t have to wait until we’re feeling anxious to take advantage of the benefits this brings.

Creating an Internal Photo Album

It’s better to experiment with visualization before we’re feeling anxious.

To this end, it’s good to have an internal “photo album” of emotionally resonant images that we can draw upon. The goal is to bring to mind images that feel potent to us, that help us readily connect with a positive feeling—be it tenderness, love, compassion, or joy—anything that makes us feel better, that shifts our emotional state.

Figuring out what works best for us may take some time but visualization exercises could include:

  • A happy moment shared with a friend
  • Being enveloped in a loving embrace
  • Picturing ourselves in a warm and serene place
  • A helpful person or group of people assisting us with our fear
  • Our adult self comforting the scared child within us
Practice Makes Perfect

As with most things in life, visualization is a skill that can be developed.

If images and positive feelings don’t readily come, there’s no need to worry or get frustrated. It just takes some time and a little bit of effort. Also, not all of us visualize in great detail. Just thinking about a particular instance can evoke similar emotions. With practice, we can learn to generate positive feelings through visualization and use these emotions to neutralize fear.

The Positive Imagery Tool

Here’s a process you can follow when you notice you’re feeling anxious or afraid:

  1. Acknowledge your discomfort.
  2. Call to mind images, memories, or situations that evoke positive feelings.
  3. Focus on this material as you breathe deeply.
  4. Imagine the positive feelings washing over you and neutralizing your anxiety or fear.
  5. When your anxiety or fear sufficiently melts away, take a moment to sit with and appreciate what you’re feeling.

You can also apply a similar process to attend to the historic components of your emotional experience. Here’s an exercise that utilizes imagination to help process childhood wounds and old memories.

Visualization Caregiving Exercise

  • Recall a relationship experience that was triggering and still feels charged to you.
  • As best as you can, get a mental image of what happened that was distressing for you.
  • Then, close your eyes and go inside. Locate where you’re feeling activated in your body.
  • Follow your feelings back in time to the hurt, scared, angry, or distressed child inside of you.
  • Through your adult eyes, look at the child in your memory.
  • Ask yourself, what does this child need?
  • What would have made this situation better for them?
  • Perhaps they just need someone there to hold their hand.
  • Maybe they need someone to recognize, validate, and empathize with their pain, sadness, or anger.
  • Let your heart guide you. Deep inside you know what your child self needs.
  • When you get a sense of what this is, picture your adult self caring for this child in just the right way.

If it’s hard for you to connect with particular images, don’t worry. Merely turning inward and attending to your emotional experience can be powerful. Also, memory and experiences show up in different ways. For instance, you might not be able to clearly see yourself in an embrace with a loved one, but just imagining the possibility, even without a picture in your mind’s eye, can bring you comfort and help settle your nervous system. Let yourself play and see what you come up with. As you do, you’re adding valuable tools to your emotional mindfulness toolbox.