Many of us long to be more alive and present in our day-to-day, more in touch with ourselves, and closer to those we love. Yet no matter what we do, we can’t seem to get there. We may enjoy a full life, a successful career in the workplace or as a homemaker, loving friends and family, but despite all this we feel like something’s missing in our lives.


As a licensed psychologist and life coach with over 15 years experience helping people get the life they really want, I believe that fear is one of the biggest factors in feeling disconnected from ourselves and our lives.

So, what are we afraid of? Would you be surprised if I said that we’re afraid of our own feelings?

It’s our feelings that make us feel alive and vital, that bridge the gap between ourselves and others and help us to feel close. And it’s a “feelings phobia” that keeps us detached from the wisdom and power inside of us, and at a distance from others.

But, you can change this!

Living Like You Mean It: Use the Wisdom and Power of Your Emotions to Get the Life You Really Want shares a proven 4-step approach to
overcoming fear and connecting more deeply with yourself and others.

You’ll learn how to:

  • Break through old patterns so you can get unstuck,
  • Open up to the energy and resources inside you so you feel more motivated,
  • Get in touch with your personal truth and put an end to confusion and indecisiveness,
  • Experience a profound sense of meaning, purpose, and belonging,
  • Deepen and enrich your relationships and feel closer to those you love,
  • Realize your true potential and experience greater fulfillment and happiness,
  • …live your life like you mean it!


The strategies in this book offer more than a quick fix. They are based on cutting-edge research about how the brain works, develops, and changes. As such, they’ll not only help you feel more alive, vital, and present in your life, but will fundamentally change the way your brain works. In fact, recent empirical studies out of Linköping University in Stockholm, Sweden, found the Living Like You Mean It program to be an effective treatment for overcoming anxiety, depression, and social anxiety.

This book is full of stories of transformation of people who felt stuck, alone, despairing, but, in finding the courage to face their fears, in taking the risk to open up to their feelings and share them with others, changed in ways they never imagined possible.

The same can happen for you. With the right tools and practice your life and your relationships can be better.

When you practice Living Like You Mean It,
you learn that you hold the power within you
to transform your life.

Finally, someone is helping us get closer to our emotions and who we are—instead of further away from our power. A moving and inspirational read for anyone in the challenging times we’re all going through.

–Melody L. Beattie

author of The New York Times bestsellers Codependent No More, The Language of Letting Go, and Choices

What a joy it is to read Dr. Ron Frederick’s Living Like You Mean It. Well informed, accessible and engaging, this wonderful book is full of powerful strategies that will enliven your soul, enrich your relationships, and help you have a more deeply meaningful life. I recommend it with enthusiasm!

–John Bradshaw

author of The New York Times bestsellers Healing the Shame that Binds You, Homecoming, Creating Love, and Reclaiming Virtue

With compelling insight into the way emotion shapes our lives, Living Like You Mean It invites us on a tremendously useful journey into the mind and brain and shows us how the day-to-day ways we defend against feeling our feelings keeps us from living the lives we really want. But no more! Through practical suggestions, compelling stories, and powerful insights, this book dishes up a readily accessible plan to free us from the prison of our own fear of feeling. Frederick is a liberating guide—and after joining him on this trek, you’ll be ready to feel fully alive!

–Daniel J. Siegel, MD, director

The Mindsight Institute, and author, The Mindful Brain and Parenting from the Inside Out

Ron Frederick is a master therapist and a gifted teacher. With energy and passion, he guides the reader through the vibrant inner landscape of the emotions. The tools and insights he offers can help prevent depression and anxiety. Even more, they point the way toward a vital and engaged life—a life fully lived.

–Henry Emmons, MD

author of The Chemistry of Joy

Brimming with heart and soul, and scientifically sound, Living Like You Mean It is a brilliant book for anyone wanting to get unstuck and live a happier, more fulfilling life.

–Marci Shimoff

# 1 New York Times bestselling author, Happy for No Reason, coauthor, Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul, and featured teacher in The Secret

Dr. Frederick’s first book demonstrates his gift of communicating in an accessible, human, meaningful manner about one of life’s most important mysteries—the true value and purpose of our emotions. He shows us how to navigate the guidance system they provide on the road to happiness, fulfillment and depth in our lives. Hopefully, this will be the first of many books from this gifted writer.

–Joseph Bailey

licensed psychologist and bestselling author of Fearproof Your Life and Slowing Down to the Speed of Life

Dr. Frederick’s wise and powerful book is an inspiration. It is also a practical guide to help us feel more deeply, face our fears more confidently, and live each moment more fully.

–Dr. Larina Kase

author, The Confident Leader and The New York Times bestseller The Confident Speaker

Written like he means it—and clearly he does—Ron Frederick’s book is a gift, written by a master clinician and an amazing person. His heart and soul, his humor and sparkling intelligence, his pathos and practicality, are all there from the great title to the very last word. Down to earth and with a twinkle in his eyes, Ron Frederick is the guide and companion you have been looking for. As he passionately makes clear: you can shed your resignation and vitality and joy can be yours again. And as you journey to reconnect with yourself and those you love—you will not be alone. Step by step, you feel him with you, steady and wise. What a great book! I will recommend it to my patients and friends alike. And, what’s more, I can’t wait to read it again.

–Diana Fosha, PhD

director, the AEDP Institute and author, The Transforming Power of Affect

Where shall we run if we run from ourselves? This book asks us to look anew at our models of health and happiness and to realize that personal liberation is not possible if we are not at liberty to feel what we feel. Through stories and examples, Ron Frederick walks us through that issue in a way that is simple, clear, and focused, and that has a chance to fundamentally change human lives.

–Steven C. Hayes, PhD

Department of Psychology, University of Nevada, and author, Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life

It is a delight to read a book on emotions that integrates so much of the cutting-edge research in brain, body, mind, and attachment. Ron Fredrick has managed to take difficult concepts and translate them into language that is understandable. This is a book for those who seek to reconnect with their own emotions, and with the emotions of people they care about. I highly recommend Living Like You Mean It.

–Marion Solomon, PhD

director, Clinical Training, Lifespan Learning Institute and author, Lean on Me